It occurred to me how problematic seeking knowledge is… It relates as well to meeting needs….
Seeking knowledge isn’t the prescription in scripture. There is a lot of people slogging through their humanity as they seek to be a part of the Kingdom of Yah, and along the way there is much exchange of information. It isn’t always real, or accurate, in fact most is opinion and interpretation. We find some kind of odd comfort in acquiring knowledge because it seems to make us feel internally like we have some kind of mastery over something.
It is a completely false thing.
In fact, I would even suggest it is part of the problem. Knowledge exposes us to things we cannot do anything about. Knowing I have a problem isnt the same as addressing it. Not even close. After years of addictive behaviors, there was a window of time where much of the internal motivations and impetus for behavior X was revealed. I do X because of Y and that leaves me in state Z.
This is helpful for a very short, and specific time. It turned out my job was to take Y, and find a solution. Knowing it was there gave me language, context, and understanding of the problem. But it wasnt the solution. The solution was whatever the God I called upon would/could do for me.
I wonder if a huge part of the “fall” of Adam and Eve was simply the exposure to information. They had an option, and now there was opportunity. They couldn’t manage their response to it. It became a serious problem.
I am exposed to so much teaching, and glad to have the help to process scripture. But a lot of this becomes a way to procure knowledge. And it is fun to look at things, and examine them and see connections. It helps to bring understanding. But even understanding isn’t the goal.
The goal is to do something right about what I know. And that isn’t the purview of knowledge, or even my own power. While it does involve my choices, it becomes clear in scripture choices weren’t enough. In scripture you begin to hear a chorus of the prophets talking about something new coming and taking the instructions,t he information, the ideals and the constructs of the Kingdom, and putting them down inside us, past knowledge, past understanding, past choices and deep into the core of our being. Down into motivation and desire.
It is the very same Spirit of the God who created all things. YHVH created the constructs. Yah is not just the most kind and generous and patient “person”, Yahweh IS Patience, Kindness, Generosity etc… The substance of what God is can only be describe by us in terms of attributes. But they arent just attributes. We see the color Red, Red is an attribute. But that is just the spectrum of light coming back. We dont actually see the light itself. We experience it, it interacts with us. But the substance of it we cannot even comprehend, so we simply think of it in terms of what we experience of it, and what it does.
It is becoming clear to me how badly I need this promise in my life. I am gaining knowledge daily. I see all sorts of amazing things in the scriptures, yet by the time Yeshua comes to the earth, there is a serious challenge, with only one answer.
I can obey the commandment to not murder. It is within my ability to not do this. But the substance of the commandment was about hating. Or even more deeply, not loving. Not being like God. On the inside, not the outside. From deep within my substance, not just the external attributes people see.
For a long time the Spirit of God has been presented to me (and i willingly bit) based on attributes and experiences. I must admit, I enjoy them. At some point in my life, Yah will sort me out on which ones were real and which ones were false. But something got stopped far too early, and far too shallow.
The goal isn’t what the Spirit of Yah does that you can see. We need miracles and signs and wonders. But that is a lot like knowledge. They provide a revealing of something, and the next step is a decision. Now that we have seen the information, do we want to be taken deep down under the brokenness, motives, and paradigm and allow the same “person” who saved us, delivered us, healed us, loved us cleanly for the first time in our life, unlocked our heart etc…. do we want that same thing down deep under our own self?
Yeshua continues on the message of Jeremiah and the others by saying there is a sign more personal than circumcision of the flesh, but circumcision of the heart. A truly submissive cutting away of something. Down to the very essence of things. This not only a promise, but a requirement. Only those led by this are actually in the Kingdom. It doesn’t say those who experience ecstatic interactions, but those who are led by it. Directed, Motivated, Fundamentally controlled.
I have to submit to being immersed in this Spirit, and let it change me.
The danger with knowledge is that I now know a lot about what I should do. Im learning a lot about who God is, and what God is like. Just reading last night with my children in a part of Deuteronomy, and a rather dry part at that, I was stunned that God was basically describing being very proactively generous to each other. On the surface it sounds nice. Be nce. But what isnt clear is how this is simply trying to align us with God. God is like this. And God commanded the people who claim Yahweh to be like this. God knows they cannot without a command. They have to be told to do it. But it is also very clear even with the command, they need something far deeper to truly fulfill it.
It is time for me to truly begin to receive the promise deep down. Not just know more stuff.