Posted in Torah, Uncategorized

What is False?

I really don’t want to get so far out into something wrong or evil or false and become so fascinated with it. However, this is something where Torah really cleared up both a passage in scripture where Yeshua says something, as well as my own personal experience. I believe this lends itself to something very important, and that is vital for living from the truth as the end of the age barrels in upon us, our children, and our grandchildren.

I also believe this will allow us to delight int he truth far more! Being able to disregard the gobs of information being dispensed by individuals without being concerned about missing something is a significant problem. There is so much going on, especially this moment (Aug 2015) where people are claiming things, it is almost impossible to strain out what might be important, let alone true.

Is it True or False?

For my purpose here, True and False need to be defined.

Classically, these would be operational definitions I’m familiar with, and many people I know would say something similar.

True: Something God is saying and/or doing. My reference here isn’t whether something is “factually” true, but whether it is something to be paid attention to or not.  For example:

  • Ecstatic/prophetic gifts being exercised where someone is claiming to be operating in the Spirit of Yah. “Words of Knowledge”, or foretelling events, or praying for healing, or demonstrating other things.
  • Interpretations of Scripture, along with directives on how to apply it.
  • Dreams and Visions being shared

False: Anything NOT originating from YHVH. Some folks would call this something from our own “fleshly” desires, or even from demonic/evil supernatural sources.

The problem turns out that this question isn’t actually good enough to help us know what to listen to, or what to do. It isn’t simply whether something is true or false with these definitions. Trying to discern whether something is true or false (God or not) isn’t the standard in scripture. And that really shocked, and helped me a lot.

Lets work backwards . . .

Most people who come into the christian religion go through a process of in-“doctrination” (this process is normally called “discipleship”, but it is largely geared toward internalizing christian doctrine into someone) . In certain circles of this culture, there is elements dedicated to “spiritual gifts”, which can be very helpful navigating the myriad things that happen outside of the abilities of humanity.

disclaimer – Im am both very comfortable with, and a proponent of the work of YHVH’s own Spirit. I believe the Spirit of Yah is not only the PROMISE of the re-Newed Covenant,  but the power that directed Yeshua, raised Him from the dead. The Spirit of Yah is to be received by us, and because the Spirit of Yah is not human (or “natural”), many things the Spirit of Yah does will be un-intuitive or beyond natural (i.e. super-natural).  I’m ok with that.

Part of this process of navigating “spiritual things” is trying to understand if it is “God or not”. The basic idea here is that supernatural interactions in our finite, human experience were common to Yeshua, and the disciples in the 1st century. And I think scripture makes that abundantly clear. Yeshua says this, the emissaries of Yehusa experienced it, and even people not noted specifically as “APOSTLES” (BIG A, Big Boys) did. If you do not know this, or believe it, read it for yourself.

And some of these supernatural things were evil. There are a few stories from Moses and Aaron through to Paul where someone working from a spirit other than Yah was doing or saying something which had peoples attention.

But it turns out that this concept of “God or not” isn’t actually the problem. Obviously, if it ISN’T the working of Yah, we don’t want to do anything about it (except for maybe to push it away, i.e. cast it out, or even silence it).

But what if it is the power of Yah working, but STILL not something to be received? Is that even possible?

Starting from the End

In the end of the christian bible, we have the WORD of Yah (I believe the Memra) interacting in a human form with a human man. There are things being said that are direct, literal corrections to groups of people (letters to the 7 congregations), and disclosing things to come that have not yet happened. In closing of this interaction, there is a couple of interesting statements:

[Rev 22:6, 14-15 NIV] 6 The angel said to me, “These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God who inspires the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place.

14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

There are several pieces throughout this whole prophecy that say similar things from beginning to end. The first concept is that the prophets being talked about int he first section are easily understood in context to be true prophets of God. However interestingly it isnt stating that 100% exclusively.

The second part I reference is important as well. It sets a distinction between people who are able to enter into the Kingdom of Yah vs. people who cannot. This is important, and throughout this whole book there is a difference between people who are on each side.

A hard saying of Yeshua

So Yeshua says several things in and around this concept.

[Mar 16:15-18 NKJV] 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 “And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 “they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

This is a classic verse, and fundamental to christian doctrine. It is normally associated with the Great Commission, a bedrock tenet. The idea here is the supernatural events described, which do not in any way seem to be a comprehensive list but examples, will help support and demonstrate the reality of the Kingdom of Yah being here now for those who have “eyes to see and ears to hear” (the very phrase is actually used in the Revelation portion at the end of the christian bible).

Earlier in his ministry, Yeshua gives this insight

Matthew 7:21-23 NKJV

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.

“Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’

“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!

This on is really rough. The prior reference says supernatural things like speaking by the Spirit of Yah, casting evil, demonic spirits out of people, surviving deadly things are much more accompany the proclamation of the Kingdom of Yah. But this reference says that many (MANY!) people will experience these things, and because of that assume they will be among the ones who can enter into the Kingdom at the end of the Age (the same people who have “washed their robes”.  However, to their total suprise, they are rejected at the gate of the city, and sent out to take their place among those who PRACTICE evil.

At this point, my mind reels and thinks HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? The ones who do the will of YHVH the Father enter the Kingdom, the ones who don’t are not just sent away, but they are defined by implication as those who DON’T do the will of YHVH. 

At another point Yeshua even explains

[Luk 11:17-20 NIV] 17 Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. 18 If Satan is divided against himself, how can his kingdom stand? I say this because you claim that I drive out demons by Beelzebul. 19 Now if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your followers drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. 20 But if I drive out demons by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.

WHAT THE HECK????? So driving out demons is exclusively a “finger of God” thing. Sure you could argue that some demonic being could displace another demonic being on order to deceive people. I could also imagine that the demonic world is full of evil,  and demons hate each other and fight one another etc…

But Yeshua claims something different in Matthew 7. He says the distinction is PRACTICING LAWLESSNESS.

Law and Lawlessness

This is where things get seemingly weirder. Before I go further, lets make a quick operational definition here….

Law is a weird word in the christian scriptures. We western moderns think of law as laws like in a legal sense. But the use of the word law, especially in the “New” testament, is very often a reference to the Torah, the list of directives and requirements for membership and identification as YHVH’s chosen people.

To be law-less, means to be without Torah. Literally, against, or without it.

Nomia is the Greek word translated Law normally, and anomia is the word lawless (against law). Nomia is used in the Septuagint (Greek “Old Testament”) as reference to Torah, or commands of Yah. Not jsut things Yah said, but the literal directives such as the “10 commandments”. efinitive, blunt statements like “DO” and “DON’T”.

This isn’t some crazy made up idea. While in some cases of Pauls writings, the English word “law” is used for several different things, not just the Torah, it is clearly used in scripture as the body of commands of God throughout the “New Testament” that was the only existing body of Gods words at the time of Yeshua and the 1st century ambassadors.

Let this sink in a bit, and then we will move back even further to what untangled everything for me.

The Original Guideline

To recap so far:

  • The Goal of a follower of Yah is to be obedient to the things which are True.
  • Jesus lets us know that things will occur when fulfilling the directives to share the Kingdom of God here and now, meta-physical or super-natural things (beyond the human physical or natural abilities of humans) can occur. These things attend tot he proclamation of the Kingdom, and help to confirm ans demonstrate the Kingdom of God (not humans) is at hand.
  • At the end of the age, God will separate people. Some will be allowed in to the Kingdom of God forever, and some will not. The difference is that those who are allowed in have “washed their robes”, i.e. been made clean. Those who are sent outside are those who have made a practice of unacceptable activity (evil/illegal)
  • Some people will believe all the way to the end that they are going to be allowed into the Kingdom, and find out only at the end they will not. Their assumption is based on the fact that they have been experiencing all the supernatural things while they have acted in proclamation of the Kingdom message.  And Jesus explains to them they are as lawless as the people who practice the illegal things who are forbidden to enter.
  • The operational definition of lawless is tied to the obedience to the commands of God, which at the time they were explained by Jesus (the same person who judges at the end) represent the WHOLE BODY of information Yahweh commanded and describes to the people who claim to be Yahweh’s.

This is distressing enough, and has lots of implications. I cannot get to them all in this article, but it brings me back to my original problem.


How do you understand when something being shared or experienced, or someone, is worth listening to?

It turns out that the principles established early on in scripture are not just a an answer, but a warning. And it ties into the words towards the end of the scriptures from Yeshua not just agree but uses the same criteria as a warning and an eventual operational definition for who even gets in to the Kingdom. I think the following begins to explain the how is it possible and what do I do problems. Before I try to break it down, let me share WHY this is so impacting to me.

Several years ago, I ended up “planting a church”. At the very early origins of it, both myself and another man were primarily initiating it, and within several months, many more people got involved. This guy had become both a dear friend, and we had spent quite a lot of time together for a bit more than a year. Out families were interconnected.

We had many interesting experiences, and this guy was very demonstrative about several revelatory things. At one point, he even prayed for a woman who had breast cancer, and she was by all accounts healed. Regularly we experienced information that was seemingly miraculous and unable to be known by any of us.

It would be a long, long story, but in essence, this man turned out to be INCREDIBLY defiling. His behavior became more and more suspect, and eventually was caught in severe immorality. Upon that bit of information, it was as if the curtains were opened, and many women came forward with similar stories. It actually gets even worse, but suffice to say it was one of those serious, soap opera stories that turn everyone’s stomach when they hear about it. And it kept getting worse. This wasnt someone with an addiction having a struggle, this was a predator, even using supernatural revelation to manipulate women for sexual favors, and extracting money and assets from people. The community had not realized that everything revolved around this guy. Without us knowing it, he really did become and idol.

One of the biggest questions became what stuff was real, and what stuff was not? It really began to be was ANYTHING real? How could anything real (or “true” in this case) could ever come out of something so clearly polluted? Was this all evil? Demonic? Was it a real gift, and simply misused?

Over the years as I began healing and recovering, I had yet to understand how to make any sense of this. I also began to realize that this had implication as I learned more about eschatology. What we experienced was no doubt similar to what is termed anti-Christ. The last we heard this guy started this all over again in another city,  with much the same behaviors. He had began even dragging a cross all around the downtown area. He has never approached any of us involved in the original community to demonstrate repentance.

Even Liars can walk around carrying crosses
Even Liars can walk around carrying crosses

Moses instructs the Israelites about something  that should direct them in these very situations. This is being spoken from God directly to the people through Moses

Deuteronomy 13:1-5 (English 12:32-13-4)

Everything I command you that you shall be careful to do it. You shall neither add to it, nor subtract from it.

If there will arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of a dream, and he gives you a sign or a wonder, and the sign or the wonder of which he spoke to you happens, [and he] says, “Let us go after other gods which you have not known, and let us worship them,” you shall not heed the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of a dream; for the Lord, your God, is testing you, to know whether you really love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul.

You shall follow the Lord, your God, fear Him, keep His commandments, heed His voice, worship Him, and cleave to Him.

While it seems pretty obvious, lets break this down

  1. God is explaining that you should NEVER change what God commands. Don’t add to it, don’t remove anything. Gods commands are contained in Gods WORDS, which are collectively called TORAH. So you NEVER CHANGE TORAH.
  2. God then talks about people who experience and/or produce supernatural situations that are real. In other parts of scripture God makes it clear that someone who says something and it doesn’t happen is already not experiencing something God originated. This is addressing when the events actually happen.
  3. God then explains that when something is true (in the sense that the sign or wonder or foretelling is real) and happens, it is God at work.
  4. If the person who is involved in this supernatural event then begins to encourage or facilitate worshiping anything or anyone else, the event itself is true, but the person themselves is FALSE.
  5. That means this is a TEST…. FROM GOD.
  6. The term for going after other gods and worshiping them is far more subtle and simple than it seems. This isnt traditionally thought of as just bowing down in front of a statue. Inf act, one of the keys is understanding point 1. Any disobedience to God is essentially worshiping something else. Altering any of Gods directives is disobedience. Dis obedience is idolatry. It is following after yourself.
  7. The test is whether you really Love God.

So the issue isn’t whether the sign and wonder or information of event is from God or not.  That isnt actually the problem. For years in my mind this was the main problem, but it turns out this was never the problem. The problem is do I LOVE GOD?

This passage defines Loving God by inference: To obey God, not change what God commands, to worship God only. It is continuing on from where I was, and not going turning direction. Anyone who has walked with Yah knows this experience.

The test is not if a miracle occurs. They SHOULD OCCUR. Debates about whether this or that is for today are fairly senseless. When they do occur, it is a great thing to rejoice and be encouraged. However the real test is whether the person involved is advocating ANYTHING which would redirect someone away from God, and just as important, change anything about obedience to Gods commands or the commands themselves.

I would even go so far as to say (at this point in my current understanding which is always growing and developing) that there isn’t qualification here, and it is specifically about obedience. And it is obedience to the directives already issued. Those must stand by themselves, and nothing is to be added or removed or changed.







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Help on the way…

Ive been helped and encouraged immensely by this team of people and their discussions on Torah. I highly encourage you to listen in, as well as support them.

Torah Pearls


Posted in Creation, Uncategorized

Genesis 2:7

Gen 2:7 NKJV – And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.


Yah formed man, and formed man from the dust (more on this later), and once Yah “breathed” into man, man became a living being.


Formed: Interesting that the form of the verb used here points to the start of something, not just the act of something. It is used when referring to man or God, and it also implies a plan, or to pre-ordain. Its more than just making an object, it is creating (not modifying) an object, and putting a plan together about it.

Dust: The dust here is literally the debris of the ground. It can also mean mortar or even ore.

Breathe: This is the blowing OUT. Small detail but clearly Yah doesn’t breathe. This was an action FROM Yah TO the man, carrying LIFE to it. Similar to the idea of light in previous verses. When Yah supervised the creation of light, there was no source (i.e. stars etc…) for a time. The light was coming FROM Yah TO the created thing until other light sources were generated.

The Breath of Life: Breath here is used 24 times in Hebrew, it isn’t a common term. It points to not just the air going in and out, but implies life, and spirit of man. Life, as an adjective is green, flowing, active, reviving. It isn’t Life in general, or some kind of idea, it is the aliveness of a thing.

Soul/Being:  I think there is far more to this than is easily understood, but important parts to put in context are this is describing more than just a being, this idea of living soul is something operating in life. Appetites, emotions, passions, activity, desire, passion. This didn’t exist until the breath of Yah came FROM Yah, and INTO mankind. Once there, it was seated in mankind.

We don’t see Yah breathing into animals. Perhaps Yah did, but it isn’t stated. Yet in reference later everything with the “breath of life” in it meant more than mankind. However we don’t see scripture explaining other parts of creation like this where God directly breathed into them

Remember Man here isn’t a MALE. It is Mankind. All of humanity. Without the breath of Yah, we aren’t a living Soul. Our ability to have emotion and desire and passion COMES from the breath of Yah. How we direct it, what we do with it etc… is our stewardship.

So therefore we realize Yah has desires, emotions, intention etc…  while it seems obvious, think about the implications. God has a motive, a desire, an “internal” feeling about what God does. That part of Yah was given to us, and animated us. It isn’t the desires themselves, but the ability to desire. It’s the framework of desire and passion and emotion. To disregard this, objectify it, or attempt to remove it (i.e. pursuing  something like Zen, or disconnecting) is actually anti-God. Its as dangerous and wrong to try and reject these things as it is to use them in a wrong context.

One of my favorite examples of this is people who come out of an addiction. Sexual addiction or disordered sexual behavior is very overwhelming. The desire is to simply have it removed, because trying to organize or direct something that is so powerful, yet shattered or twisted, can feel like way too much. However the real intent of Yah isnt to have no sexual desire or intention. It is to HAVE it, and for it to be experienced in a healthy context.

Leanne Payne details this in one of her books. Praying for someone coming out of unwanted same sex attraction, the temptation of the individual is to simply not deal with sexual desire at all. But the real preayer is for it to be bounded and directed into appropriate things until it can have its full, real, authentic expression. Thsi requires far more, yet is more consistent with what Yah did when Yah breathed into mankind and gave them life.

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Perhaps all religions really do seem to lead to the same place…

As I sit in the midst of a personal reformation, I find that the things Ive stated before so belligerently in the past arent necessarily untrue, just processed and spoken most often from a place of anger or critique or even judgment.

So often, people who dont claim any religion, and even those who do. will use the term “religion” in a pejorative manner. The context Im most familiar with, evangelical christianity, loves to say “it’s not about religion but relationship”, as if the statement itself actually proves itself. The common claim I have heard stated often “More people have been killed in the name of religion…” while not actually true (unless you consider atheism as a religion, then you would be right) “feels  right”, and has some meat to it considering things like the crusades and the world population at the time compared to the amount of people killed, as well as all sorts of other things.

But what is the definition of religion? I dont know if I accept this article as it defines everything, but I sure connect with this statement:

Religion is an organized collection of beliefscultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence.[note 1]

The real issue is WHY I think this definition has merit, and why the end result is that religion itself, the very existence of it and its operations, result in the same thing, which is death.

I assert that religion is human.

You can argue semantics, simply saying religion is just a word that means “faith”, like “Christian Religion” = “Christian Faith”, and somehow faith is different than the term religion. Or as I stated before it “isnt religion, it is relationship”.

But I say that religion is a human thing, that relates humanity to an order of existence, and in most cases this order of existence is divine being(s). And the key here is it is HUMANITY relating to this order of existence. It is a human centric paradigm.

I can only speak to the “christian” paradigm, as Im very familiar with it. The more I sit and consider the supposed basis for this faith (the Bible is what most would confess), the more I come to see that christianity is religion. And it is totally human in origin.

Im not saying that “christians” are bad. But what I am trying to say with sincere affection, but even more commitment, is that the christian religion is a farce. It is a culture, it is a system of humanity trying to relate to a God, which for the most part, the culture made up.

I understand how shocking and offensive this must be. However, if there is any truth in my conclusion, which in my mind is accurate, then it requires I repent. Because according to the scriptures the under-gird the faith, it is Yahweh reaching to people, and then putting in place a literal set of guidelines to follow. The classic interpretation of Judaism (yet another man made religion)  is that it is full of rules and laws, impossible to keep. Iw ould agree. But the standard isnt some man made religion, it is Yahwehs proactive actions and reconciliation to humanity that needs to be observed. And its very important we dont take that, and then process our own response through a lens of yet more man made attempts to relate to the divine.

This is the crux of the matter. In my response to divine initiative, I put a little spin one way or the other on something. I try to make it a measuring stick, or make it “safer”, or make it “friendly” or try to find my place in it. The same motivation inside of rebellious angels is inside me, looking for a way to add my take on it, or get some kind of angle on it.

That is religion. And its awful. Truly awful.

No matter how sentimental your connection to a specific group, activity, or paradigm, no matter how nostalgic your association with a time in your life (especially when you experienced Yahweh really moving on your life), when you find that you added something to it, or took something away from it, you are tainting the whole thing. There is no amount of your own creation you can bring to the relating to Yahweh that is legit. That is labeled many thins, from “strange fire” to “abomination”. Too many are quick to use those labels with something that makes them uncomfortable. A greater problem might yet be that we never look at the things that make them comfortable and apply the term.

The only answer is to do what John the Baptists said, repent and turn TO God. Neither lineage, background, past experience, insight into scripture etc… is enough.  The main leveler to get in the Kingdom that is rushing at you at the speed of light, it repentance from sin, dead works, lawlessness. All religion will keep you outside the gates of the Kingdom, and even though you have the words “Lord Lord” you have no place in it.

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I just use the word because it is cool, but it also really does fit. Lets stop and ponder what we have been shown, and some of the possible inferences we can draw (many people can drawn far more Im just speaking from my vantage point)

Yahweh created everything, but we dont actually know when the Earth was created.  Darkness was the characteristic state of things at least from the Earth perspective. The Earth itself at the beginning was formless and void, empty and chaotic. The work was in darkness, at least not in visible light.

Yah created the framework of time, physics and chemistry required to initiate energy and matter, and then created it if it wasnt already in place and just literally dark and empty.  There is mention of days, btuthere is no indication that the sun is created, ans things are dark. Im assuming Yah turned light on and off until the sun and starts were made and the Earth was rotating.

The Earth in its initial forms is describes as water, and chaotic, even confused. However there was a separation of “waters” making at best guess atmosphere.  Pressure and density separate “outer” space from “inner” space.  This can indicate rotation and centrifugal force making less dense matter move farther away from the earth.

Then the waters under the atmosphere were separated with part below land, and part above. The land appeared above the surface and water receded. According to some theories either the land was all one continent (Pangea) or it was fairly similar to now, but the water was much lower with land bridges between what we know as continents now.

Then Yah put in place light sources (if they were not already present in the earlier verses), and the light sources govern timing of events that later become critical to signs of Yahs work, as well as a calendar that governs the people Yah calls out…

We have the framework for Yahs creativity to go forward.  We have physics, chemistry, and rules. We have energy, time, space. We have mass and interactions of energy and mass.  We have a rhythm to things that are oriented around Sun, Moon and Stars, which are visible and direct.

As we go forward we have a foundation to things that provide for and govern interactions. Its a true person (God/Yahweh) who initiated all this, and did this via mechanisms that arent totally explained, but infer many creative and sophisticated things that get expanded on later in scripture.

There are many things we find out later the expand on and interact with this, but at this point, this is all we know.

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Fair Warning

I forgot to add in my first (and verbose) post that if aomeone ends up reading all this and/or following it, the following warnings apply:

I seem to be untypically comfortable with risking and conflict in what I believe. It is very easy for me to present something that seems to be very antithetical and let it sit without having to resolve it. If you arent… then be careful.

I also seem to have a high level of comfort reading and thinking and researching in areas seemingly contrary to general christian orthodoxy. For instance I have learned a huge amount from what appears to be anti christian jewish missionaries.  People who have been associated with leading believer into renouncing the diety of Yeshua. This would spin people out even discussing it let alone reading and researching. However key factors (that actually can lead to apostasy for those not actually committed to Yeshua rather than tradition)) are also very relevant.

I have a loose mouth, and sometimes give myself permission to be aggressive and/or intense. I need to grow in this, however sometimes even Yahweh uses a framework for description that appears vulgar.

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Gimme a T

Ive been so fortunate to have a desire and hunger to read scripture, which is so out of left field for me. It has always been a work rather than a joy. Somewhere in end of 2013 after several cycles of fasting with groups and asking for breakthrough, Yahweh has somehow cracked open a part of me and allowed true delight to come forward. It would take weeks to write how this came about but I can tell you the genesis of it was almost 7 years ago with a trip to IHOPKC, before we ended up moving there.

They were doing a worship with the word set and they said a very common verse “Your law is my delight”. Immediately I thought to myself “Uggghhh” and then told God “I dont like your Law, I dont know your Law. I dont even desire to. Something must be really wrong with me as David loved it, the whole of Israel (and therefore my faith) is founded on it, and yet I have apparent disdain for it. In fact, Im pretty sure it is done away with. What am I missing Lord?”.

Then I simply forgot about it.

Through a series of years and events, things seemed to collect into a monumental (for me) desire to divorce from myself all things I hadnt actually studied and come to belief myself. Im all for teaching, but not as the sole means to faith. It is an assistance that helps point the way, but not the way itself. I had come to realize the vast majority of christianity was simply tradition. That was easy. And the result was simply to jettison most of it. Traditions wont save you and they dont have weight at the end of the age standing before your master. At times they can be wonderful, but again only in so far as they help point you to the truth. When they become and end unto themselves, you have what a dear man called “Paper Religion”.

But what is even worse (for me) is the realization that the majority of what I BELIEVE about my faith is traditions handed down by men. And I couldnt separate things I KNEW (had intimacy with and had come from Yah) and things I simply accepted. As I dug through my life it became obscene the amount of things I simply regurgitate that I had been taught. Some were true, but I didnt know WHY, and so in reality I had no real substance. Math is still valid if you memorize the multiplication tables, but there is a profound difference in knowing the framework if you work outside the tables or cant find them.

Worse yet, I was working FROM these beliefs, and they were scattered all over my orthopraxy (big word thank you Jason B). Not only what I did internally, but what I talked about, what I prayed about, what I argued and debated with people about, what I counseled people about…

Thank Yah for Grace….

So I threw it all out. Even the biggies. Yes, those biggies…from trinitarianism to messiahship, and tons of little things. Im confident that the person who saved me would restore to me the truth because I had prayed in confidence for the Spirit of Truth just a few months earlier.  Im not talking about despising things, simply saying “I dont know what I think i do, and I dont know what I dont know. God bring me into the truth”.

What happened is (to me) a miracle. It hs galvanized what I believe and given me confidence in prayer like never before. It has also scared the wits out of my wife, and bothered some friends. But to me it is pure relief.

A large part of this is the restoration of the Torah, and the reality that it is very hard, if not impossible to grasp to scriptures without laying aside my modernist view and mindset. I read things I think I already know what they mean, but most of the words used can miss a lot. There is a bias inherent in modern evangelicals translating scripture that is shocking. Then add the bias interpreting it and then presenting it. While I do not believe you need to know Greek (Aramaic potentially really) or Hebrew to know Yahweh, (I actually dont think you know how to read or even have scripture technically), for someone walking a long time, milk and basic understanding of scripture feels like never growing old with my wife. There are nuances and subtleties that mature people have that others dont.

Another fierce facet of my personal reformation is the reality that God is a title for lots of things and lots of people. So is Lord. So is husband. In fact Baal can mean all those things. But Yahweh (and whatever variant you personally like) is the NAME, and it was never given to anyone else. It is special, it is intimate, and it was intentional. I want to know YAHWEH, not GOD. And Yahweh wants me to enter into Yahwehs name and all that is in it.

So my mission from 2014 until I find another one, is to go back into the root. Im not going to continue trying to work from the tip of the branch back through to what Ive been grafted in and then work my way back to the root. Im going to ask for revelation about what I have been grafted into, and work from there forward. My prayer is:

What I believe that is false, remove it

What I believe that is true, strengthen it and grow it

What I don’t believe yet, reveal to me and help my unbelief.

Come along if you want. Or not. I dont care really who reads this if anyone. Its just a tool to help me push into growth. Be forewarned, I dont like sacred cows, and I dont like apostrophes