I forgot to add in my first (and verbose) post that if aomeone ends up reading all this and/or following it, the following warnings apply:
I seem to be untypically comfortable with risking and conflict in what I believe. It is very easy for me to present something that seems to be very antithetical and let it sit without having to resolve it. If you arent… then be careful.
I also seem to have a high level of comfort reading and thinking and researching in areas seemingly contrary to general christian orthodoxy. For instance I have learned a huge amount from what appears to be anti christian jewish missionaries. People who have been associated with leading believer into renouncing the diety of Yeshua. This would spin people out even discussing it let alone reading and researching. However key factors (that actually can lead to apostasy for those not actually committed to Yeshua rather than tradition)) are also very relevant.
I have a loose mouth, and sometimes give myself permission to be aggressive and/or intense. I need to grow in this, however sometimes even Yahweh uses a framework for description that appears vulgar.